My parents are very strict and demand to see my grades every semester, something i wasn't looking forward to since i received a D in one of my classes. This is very unlike me and i was embarassed, but they always blow it out of proportion. Instead of understanding that i had one bad semester, they attack me with insults and tell me how stupid i am and how they're so sick of hearing how everyone else's child is on the deans list, etc.
It really, really hurts me and puts me down and now i just feel completely awful, but there is no way to talk to them and get any point across. What do i do?Advice on how to deal with overly judgmental parents?
Are you away at school or do you live at home and attend school? I don't know why they would insult you or make you feel as though you weren't good enough. That is just plain awful. I could understand them pushing you to do your best, but when your best just doesn't cut it sometimes, it isn't a reason to insult you.
I would try telling them how they are making you feel. They may not realize that what they are saying is harming you more than it is pushing you to do better.
If that doesn't work and you attend school away from home and they foot the bill for tuition, books, room and board, etc., then look into ways of getting your own loans by having a relative co-sigh for you or apply for scholarships or both. Maybe you could get a part-time job to help cover other expenses you have. I am not saying to run and do that. I would suggest talking to them about how they are making you feel first. A D isn't good, but it is still passing and isn't the end of the world, you could even retake the course to improve your grade.
Everything will work out, you will see. Talk to you parents, be honest, and non-confrontational. Let them know how you feel. Best of luck to you.Advice on how to deal with overly judgmental parents?
Well, I see why and how they would be mad about your D, but I bet you could have made that better. And its good that your being completelyst about saying that you have been lazy. But next semissemesternext school year take you classes more serisseriouslyr parents are paying for college, and I am sure they wanted you to do and try YOUR best, not be THE best, but its possible to be YOUR best. But that was wrong of them to call you stupid.
First of all they are your parents and they are supposed to love you. so whatever you do they'll understand they just make you feel bad so you try harder. Its psychological. Just try to do your best and make them know that your grown now and they should not be on your case. Tell them its your future which is in stake not theirs.
Just listen, agree and get on with life.They are looking out for whats best for you, its their way of showing love. I know it hurts you, but they dont know any better. and if they are paying the bill for college then u have certain demands that u have to live up to.
Really off my opinion my parents also are insane and make a big deal out of something small but i learned to just reason with them and your class dilemma may be stress-induced from your parents
That sounds dreadful, not really very supportive at all.
I mean how can they expect you to perform given the ';encouragement'; that they are giving....
I'd be interested to know what scores they have, and if they spend any time on ';educational'; activities.
some parents just don't seem to understand that part of the educational experience is their responsibility, and the things they do have an effect on your performance..
BTW why did you transfer schools?? obviously it is completely unrealistic that they are doing this to you as you are having to deal with the changes (that they probably caused)
Do you live at home? You are 20 years old and they need to let go of the control they have over you. You also need to put your foot down and stand up for yourself. My son tells me when I am out of line and I understand why. (I am just being a Mom) but in his eyes he thinks some things are ridiculous and he is not afraid to tell me. Them nagging you isn't helping you, it is actually putting more pressure on you , that you don't need or deserve. You are a sophomore and you do have good study habits at this point or you would have been gone already, so give yourself credit! Don't be hard on yourself, we all go through that when we are stressed. You are doing a good job, no matter what they say! Believe in yourself and tell them it really is up to you to make the grade and that they aren't helping you by interrogating you about grades! (My son is going to grad school this fall out of state) You can do it, be confident and believe in yourself! Good Luck!
But at the same time it's still wrong for them to call you stupid and it's very stupid for them to comapre you to other kids. You are their kid and they should be proud of you no matter what, regardless if they're paying for school. You're paying them back by not dropping out and for possible taking care of them when they get old just as they did when you were a baby.
My father in law is the exact same way, except that he has to control EVERYTHING and if you don't like his rules well he'll throw you out, he doesn't care if there's a 10 month old baby involved.
We deal with him by not visiting him, we just go visit the mother in law. His three older kids are the same way, they just don't visit him.
But if you're still living with them then the ONLY way to deal with it, honestly, is to just move out or continue to live with the abuse. Moving out would be better though because the abuse will take it's toll on you.
No comments:
Post a Comment