Monday, August 23, 2010

Advice on how to love more my dad...?

My dad is okay, but sometimes I can't stand him that I feel angry and hate toward him...I no longer want to have these sorts of feelings toward my dad.





Any advice...Advice on how to love more my dad...?
Ask yourself why you hate your dad so much.





Your hatred is within you.





The solutions lie within.





Why would you hate your dad?Advice on how to love more my dad...?
Try to get to know your dad as a person, not just dad. What dreams did he have, what is his job really like. Things like that.
try to spend time with him u will lose thoes fillings
I'm betting that there's more to this question than meets the eye. Your feelings probably have good cause behind them, but it is important for you to come to terms with where you come from so that you can feel good about you. I'd suggest trying to find some literature on forgiving parents in order to move on in your own life, and whatever may be more specific to your personal situation. If your dad is a reasonable person, perhaps you could even attempt some joint counseling sessions. Good luck! And remember that even the darkest seeming person has some good quality about them somewhere.
okay, I kinda know how you feel. Cause I'm the youngest one in the family. And sometimes my sisters is closer to my dad then I am, and he'll ask me to get him a bottle of water or some cereal. And it really makes me mad. I know he works a ton so I don't mind him asking me. But when he JUST asks me it kinda bugs me. So what I do is, I go in another room. AND TAKE A DEEP BREATH! And sometimes I hold my breath for 10 sec. And let out all my anger. So DONT blow up on him! Cause wat calms me down is knowing my dad can go away any sec. now! And then the last memory I'm going to have of him is that I blew up in his face!





And also maybe if you go to work with him it really helps you walk in his shoes. And knowing that he's a hard worker and just trys to keep you happy. Hope this helps!
My husband is a wonderful step-father to my children and a wonderful father to his own children. The problem however, is that every time he tries to spend time with his kids, they are too busy for him. When holidays come up, they always have other plans and never, ever spend the holidays (any holiday) with him. His daughter snubs him one moment and then is loving the next. His son rarely spends time with him and when he does spend time with him, he often seems like something is bothering him. When my husband tries to find out what's wrong, his son always says everything is fine and says what he thinks his father wants to hear.





Some time ago, his kids sat down with him and told him they were upset with him for a comment he made a very, very long time ago, and they were upset that he didn't make more of an effort to spend time with them (they live with their mother). My husband apologized to his kids and he has tried very hard to spend time with his kids, but they blow him off and are too busy. He tries to make sure they are okay and that nothing is bothering them, but they shut him out. They are friendly to him for the most part, but they are definately not acting like they care about him as their father. He has done nothing to deserve that and it hurts him greatly.





That said, I can tell you that unless your father has done something to specifically upset you, you need to cut him some slack. When you treat your father like you are mad at him or don't love him, you can't imagine how MUCH that hurts him. He may or may not show it, but most fathers want to be good dads and feel bad if their kids perceive them as bad fathers. If your feelings about your father are the result of something he has done or said or not done or said, then you should sit down and talk with him and tell him how you feel. He can't try to make things right with you if he doesn't have a clue how you are feeling and why. Even if you don't know why you feel as you do, you should still talk to your dad. I would give him the chance to try to understand you better so that he can do his part to try to make your relationship with him better.





Best wishes to you on this.
My brother and dad are the same way. Just sit down and talk to him and tell him the things that you can't stand about him. I think that will help. It seemed to have worked for my brother and dad.

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