Sunday, August 22, 2010

Need advice on how to help me cope with my children disowning me because of lies told by the father.?

I call, write, e-mail them but still no response! I have even gone to see them. They have no contact with me. I didn't get to go to my daughters wedding and I found out on Memorial Day past she had a baby and I the grandmother didn't even know my daughter was pregnant! It is about to destroy me with grief! I have pleaded with them to let me be apart of their lives and listen to my side of the story, but no, their father had been poisioning them against me for years. I didn't even realize it! I was sick with a disabaling disease, he didn't love me anymore because of it and wanted out of the marriage. He said he would make the kids hate me and he did just that. I don't know what else to do? They don't have any contact with any member of my family, even their grandmother. It has been 7 yrs since the divorce and my children are 24 and 21 now. I have missed so much but not by my choice! Please help if you have any advice! I miss them so and will love them always!!!!!Need advice on how to help me cope with my children disowning me because of lies told by the father.?
its heart wrenching i know i having the same problem with my 2 daughters.. (same age) they've said awful unkind hurtful things.. but i did tell my side of things and still they refuse to believe me....after my divorce i moved back to be near grandchildren but Ive been shut out i will consider moving away again since i find the pain too unbearable.....their father is controlling bastard i cant change that...in the end i feel this will haunt them if they let it continue...they will use so much energy being mad at me their relationships with others will be affected..I'm not completely blameless but i have moved on and will move away....I was wrong to return.. i know that now.. they have chosen to behave like this i will get on with my life if they want to see me they know how to find me... Ive backed off i miss them also but i wont let that ruin my life as i know it will ruin theirs over time.Need advice on how to help me cope with my children disowning me because of lies told by the father.?
Your welcome.. its a pity our children cannot behave like adults but they have high expectations i suppose and we disappoint them sometimes .such is life Good luck.

Report Abuse



ive added u to my contacts hope u dont object perhaps we can chat sometime and support each other with our common problem....

Report Abuse



Sounds like to me you have done EVERYTHING that you can.All you can do now is back off but keep a listed phone number and hope and pray they come around.My heart breaks for you as a mother of 2 I can only imagen the pain you are going throu.Good luck! and have faith.
Just apologize for whatever they said you did. Was the disabling disease something like you were hooked on smack?
all u can do is keep trying they hopefully will eventualy listen to u just show them that none of it is true thats all u can do so good luck with it
The best thing to do is to be apart of their live as you have been and I know how much you want to tell your side of the story but that will only make things worse trust me. I been there and now watching my step kids go through it with there mom only she is the one attacking the father and me. it my take alot of time but just keep send ing letters and calling and what ever you do try not to tell your side I know this is very hard but that is what he wants you to do. that will just drive them away farther invite them to a family get to gether and just keep trying it will take time though be storng he my have told them something that you don't know such as he would hurt them or anything. Just keep loving them that is all you can do. I'm very sorry and hope things work out.
They're adults now and choosing not to have any contact with you. You're going to have to accept it. You cannot be completely innocent.
The father has obviously done a lot of damage. Your kids arent children anymore....they are adults and they should be old enough to realise that there are always two sides to every story. Instead of begging and pleading maybe get a little bit angry....its your ex who has done the damage to your children, not you, so you dont have any need to beg. Email them or even ring them and tell them you are sick of the bullshiit. You are sick of being blamed for something that their father has fabricated. Tell them they are old enough to stop acting like little children and you need to meet with them to tell them your side of the story. Make them be adults about this......call them on it. Challenge their capabilities to think like adults. Honestly, they are very capable to understand two sides to a story.....you just have to find a way to meet with them personally because they may not even read your emails. Do you have any friends who your kids talk to? Maybe ask your friend to take the same tactics as you....tell your friend to tell your kids that they are being childish and they are making up their minds based entirely on falshoods. Consistency is the key, dont give up. Ring them up on a regular basis telling them their father is a liar and they need the truth. Keep it short and sweet...make them hear you out. Surely their curiosity will get the better of them sooner or later and maybe with your persistence they may just need to hear the truth from your lips.





I wish you luck
email them your side of the story. even if they don't answer you back, they know that you're their mother, and deep in their hearts, they love you. they will read your email, other wise, mail a letter to her husband or friend to give it to your kids. Good luck! I hope they will listen to you!

No comments:

Post a Comment